bip_bebop: (FINE)
WHY DID I LET MYSELF FIND THIS WHY. BECAUSE I NEED MORE DISTRACTIONS, RIGHT.

>:|

Uugghh I am failing soo hard at keeping up with schoolwork...I feel like I've lost any inner motivation I had earlier in the year. All I want to do is fandom or cosplay-related and damnit I have to be careful about that, because that's what happened a while back and it wasn't good for my health. No sleep is never good. At least now I pass out on the couch and get lots of bad quality sleep. Back then I'd be up all night on the internet, then nab a few dream-filled z's in the hour before I had to get up and start getting ready. In this case quantity>quality, FYI, because I'd be so strung out with no rest that I didn't even realize it. I kinda miss that, but it was a hard thing to do to get back to "normal." I don't want to go through that again, y'know? Bleh.

Consequentially, I'm working in the morning, woo. I have two jobs now, one working Tuesday and Thursday at a little store for $8 an hour starting at 11 and the other at the Market like I've been doing. My boss lowered the commission rate so I get more money more often, but we also have to be there by nine AM now, which means I'll be getting there 45 minutes early and won't be leaving until 6:30 PM. If he doesn't raise my pay, I'll be working for the same rate as at the store but for a lot longer and a lot more work. My mom earned $50 in commission today, so that's pretty rad, but that's an exception. I'm kind of hung up on money right now, can you tell? Le sigh. I hate being poor.

Now excuse me, I'm off to make a pointed effort at actually falling asleep in bed right off as opposed to moving upstairs for an hour after having slept in a chair with no blanket all night. *salute*
bip_bebop: (damsel?)
You guys, I want stuff.
Like, expensive stuff, and pretty bad.

This happens every six to eight months or so: I'll buy (or try to buy) a ton of stuff in a short period of time and have a hard time making myself stop. It's never anything I don't want and often stuff I've wanted for a long time, so I wouldn't consider it a compulsion, but it sometimes is really frustrating when trying to balance necessities with wants. It's almost like a ton of things I want come along all at once on purpose. On-sale plaid skirts for instance. I mean, on the one hand, I know that if I waited, I wouldn't be able to get half the things I buy ever again if I don't get them right then (such as things from [livejournal.com profile] vk_sales) so I shouldn't feel bad for snatching them up. But on the other hand, it depletes my funds for other, more expensive things like this fucking gorgeous Dollmore BJD I will never be able to own. (My dream doll is Evgeneia, who's been sold out since I discovered his existence, but Thinking Kara is in stock and BEAUTIFUL, damnit.) I don't usually like dolls with half-closed eyes, but they work really well on him! Usually the dolls I like from Dollmore are limited-edition and it suuuccckksss, but I can't help it. Haneol and Kyle are like the most beautiful face sculpts ever, aarrrrggh.

Oh, I got off on a tangent there. But, you know, [livejournal.com profile] daily_doll isn't really helping my spending issues, orz. All I want to do is buy clothes for my one poseable doll, Audrina (cute 9-inch doll clothes are really hard to find fyi) and stare with absurd want at all the lovely bjds people post. It's gotten to the point where I'm just about willing to take out a low-limit credit card just to buy a damn doll. I worry myself. Especially since this isn't an issue only with dolls, which would be pretty easy to get over what with not owning one and them costing $600 or so, but it's mostly with clothes and manga (Your & My Secret and Otomen are super-addicting) so I see stuff I want ALL OVER THE PLACE. Since I've procured pretty much all I want from King St. and Barnes & Noble, I think it might start getting better. I hope. But I still have a pair of Double Decker boots and h.NAOTO legwarmers from [livejournal.com profile] vk_sales to pay for, and less than $200 in my bank account.

--must not transfer savings account funds must not transfer savings account funds must not transfer savings account funds--

Geez. I shouldn't be so focused on material possessions and more focused on seriously studying for Japanese, because I am not retaining much of anything I learn and that's a problem. It's the ONLY class I can foresee using in the future, and yet I rarely go over anything. That needs to change. Any study-tips, flist? Keep in mind that I have a constant ringing in my ears now for some reason and thus require white noise.
And now I have the hiccups. JOY.

EDIT: It was a mistake to join the [livejournal.com profile] steamfashion comm right now because it linked to this site and therefore THIS FANTASTIC PIECE OF CLOTHING THAT I WANT VERY VERY BADLY *SOB*
bip_bebop: (bitchplease)
D':>

MY MOM BOUGHT A BAG OF SWEET SIXTEEN POWDERED DOUGHNUTS (OMG I NEARLY LOL'D AT SPELLCHECK'S SUGGESTION FOR DOUGHNUTS AS "DOUGH NUTS") AND WE WERE KEEPING THEM ON THE COUNTER IN THEIR SEALED BAG LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE WOULD. BUT APPARENTLY THAT COUNTER--AND THAT COUNTER ONLY--HAS BEEN OVERRUN BY TINY BLACK SUGAR ANTS. THEY DON'T EVEN TOUCH THE OTHER COUNTERS COVERED WITH BAGS OF CANDY AND APPLES, NO, THEY LIKE THE COFFEEMAKER!COUNTER AND JUST KEEP POPPING UP OUT OF NOWHERE. SO I REACHED INTO THE BAG AND GOT A DOUGHNUT, SAT BACK DOWN WITH MY LOVER LAPTOP AND TOOK A BITE THEN SAW AN ANT ON MY KEYBOARD. I SQUISHED IT THEN REALIZED IT HAD NO REASON TO BE THERE.

THERE WERE SUGAR ANTS ALL INSIDE THE DOUGHNUT BAG. THEY'RE SO LITTLE I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THEM.

BUT I WANTED THOSE FUCKING DOUGHNUTS
[JUSTKILLEDANOTHERONE]
SO INSTEAD OF THROWING THEM AWAY I DUMPED THE BAG AND FLICKED THE ANTS OFF EACH ONE. AN ANT GOT SMASHED ON ONE, SO I RETAINED A SHRED OF DIGNITY AND JUST THREW THAT DOUGHNUT AWAY AND I'M EATING THE OTHERS AS I TYPE.

BUT DAMMITALL, I THINK THERE MUST HAVE BEEN AN ANT ON THAT FIRST DOUGHNUT. NEAR-MICROSCOPIC SUGAR ANTS CAN'T LIKE, EAT YOUR STOMACH LINING OR SOMETHING, CAN THEY? SHIT.
SAKUJO@ALL ANTS.
ALSO I CAN IMAGINE L DOING THE SAME DAMN THING SO I'M VALIDATED AT LEAST A LITTLE. ...RIGHT? GUYS?


YES THIS IS IN CAPSLOCK ON PURPOSE SHUT THE FUCK UP THIS ENTRY REQUIRED CAPSLOCK. AND CURSING.


OH AND ALSO NONCAPSLOCK ALMOSTDRAMA BEHIND THIS CUT. )

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November 2011

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